Thursday, October 19, 2006 Pregnancy unplanned
Recently, I received a midnite call---- unearthly hour phone calls never ring good news!
This mum told me her teenage daughter was pregnant. The screams and streams of angry words and loud curses have subsided. They are faced now with the reality: Should she opt for abortion....stop schooling....give the baby up for adoption....marry the boy.....get a job.....get the 'soon-to-be grandmother' to quit her job and look after the baby, find means of paying bills.......oh, so many things to think about. One moment of passionate lust....a million scenarios being painted before their eyes! As the familiar saying goes: "What is done cannot be undone. Don't cry over spilled milk." It's useless to scold and nag or punish and impose a curfew on this girl now. I tried to understand the fears and tears of this mum and her daughter. And I felt the most important thing for the mum to do is to assure her daughter that she will be supportive and stay by her no matter what! To abort would go against their religious beliefs. To marry the boy (who is still a youth) would be adding more pressure and problems. To carry on with the pregnancy and bear the consequences as a single mother seem to be the preferred choice. That certainly looks like a responsible attitude and action....until I discovered that the young couple have no qualms about continuing their liberal sex activities since she is already pregnant! Ugh!
link | posted by Coach Jonathan Wong at 10:31 PM |
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Outsourcing Motherhood
My friend has finally decided to take her 2-year-old son back with her to China (where her husband has a job posting). For the past two years, she had left her son with the grandparents in Singapore while she had been flying to and fro, dividing her time between husband and son.
Yes, it is a tough decision to make. It is difficult to choose between emotion and logic --- between feelings of inadequacy as a first-time mum and a supportive family, between social pressure to stay together and climatic inconveniences, between the unknown and the surety. It took my friend 2 years to recognise that... grandparents or domestic helpers can babysit, but mothers need to bond; they can teach, but mothers need to discipline (ie enforce the training); they can love and care, but only mothers are able to sacrifice selflessly and go beyond duty! Children did not choose to be born. But mothers.....you make the choice --- make MOTHERHOOD your high calling! And do it well!!! |