Well, after one year in Qatar with my husband, and having two of my older kids working and keeping house in Singapore and looking after their grandmother, while the youngest is studying in the States, my idea of a 'normal' family life certainly became out of the ordinary!
We had to find a suitable time for all 5 of us to skype, to communicate and connect with the happenings in everyone's life.

I may sound like I'm complaining....but actually, because of our separation, we realise the importance of FAMILY and family doing something together!
So on our last annual family vacation, we decided as a family that we would start a new website : familyuni.com

It's not a prideful project --- we just thought that because each one of us has a passion, a peculiar interest and a particular gem, it would be a waste if we all kept it to ourselves. So we would like to share with others our experiences so that the next generation will do better than us!
People go to university to learn a skill for their professional life. Why don't we have a Family University to teach and impart knowledge, inspiration and encouragement for family life ?

So......my husband who has been in the financial world for the past 32 years, will write about finances and career development; I will cheer you on in your marriage and motherhood; my eldest son who owns and runs his own personal gym will impart his convictions about health and nutrition; my daughter who loves her work in a psychiatric hospital will write with great compassion on emotional health topics; and my youngest son who simply enjoys studying will share tips on learning that have helped him be an 'A' student. (I know that'll catch your attention!!!!)

If you would like to come along with us in building a fun and fulfilling family life, do check us out
at:

Writing this blog : magnificentmom.com has been a wonderful experience for me, but magnificentmom is moving on to build the family university! Hope to find you there!

I've just passed my birthday.....kind of quietly with no cake, candles nor champagne. Don't worry ---- I'm not having a pity party either. Just reflecting on life. And how ironical it is!

My son asked what my thoughts were as I turned 53.

Hmmm......

Actually, as I looked back, I thought: "Gee, I'm old!"
When I was a student and my teacher was 52, I could not imagine myself to be that age.....ever!

But as I look forward, I'm thinking : "Wow, I've got 70 years more!"
( Oh yes, I'm gonna live to 120.) And I feel excited about the new things I'm doing now ---- writing for a website, teaching a group of China nationals who speak limited English while I speak nil Mandarin, and living simply, ie. living a less cluttered life. And I feel a fresh burst of energy!

Isn't it ironical that I tell people to celebrate life, events, occasions ---- "Go on, have a cornetto when your first baby tooth drops off" ---- and yet it's so good to just sit quietly and listen to my inner voice on my birthday?
I looked around me.
Sure, it was a dream to have a bigger house with more room and space for the kids back home, yet it's actually great to have a one bedroom apartment now, and have only what's essential, not aesthetic, surrounding me.

It's also ironical that I've been a healthy horse (at least over the past 12 years) , and two weeks ago in this foreign land, I was so sick, I laid in bed, curled up in excruciating pain while my husband fulfilled his marriage vows and looked after me "for better, for worse; in sickness and in health"!

And of course, it's ironical that in this Arab-speaking land, I'm thinking I should learn Mandarin!

Guess that's life.....

At the beginning of every new year, I make it a point to "name my year". It's not a new year resolution ---- rather, it's a focus for the year. So....2008 for me is THE YEAR OF GRACE.

Even before I could take a breath, trials and testings, people and situations tumbled quickly before me so I could 'practise' grace! It's unbelievable.

Anyway.....since my mouth had declared what my heart had decided, now my actions have to follow, right?

So....to the one who wearied me last year with her complaints and discontent from A-Z, I spent an hour and a half with her last week, without feeling impatient.
To another who seems ungrateful and undeserving of any goodness, I gave a gift that I would have liked to keep for myself, without feeling resentful.
To the one whom I recently discovered had betrayed my trust, I have forgiven and deleted the scores of wrongs.

Considering we're only 2 weeks into 2008, I know I'm no angel with a halo above my head.

It's not easy to cheer people on instead of condemning them, to focus on solutions not problems, to allow people to fail and fall short of my expectations.
It's grace when I focus on other's needs, not mine.
It's grace when I don't argue about what's fair or unfair.
It's grace when I look out for opportunities to do what's good and kind and thoughtful.

Ahhh......I can see the 50 weeks ahead of me will be challenging for me as I fight my SELF .

HELP! I need grace myself!!!

Qatar is such a wonderful place to meet foreigners!

With a population of about 900 000, only one quarter of it are Qataris. In short, i have made friends with more of the people from the East (like the Philippines, China, India ) and the other Arab countries (like Syria, Bahrain, Egypt ) than the locals here.

The good news is ---- most people speak English, although with varying accents.
However, in recent weeks, I've bumped into more Arab-speaking only women!

Now I understand what it was like when the folks at the Tower of Babel spoke different languages and could not understand each other sufficiently to carry out a project. It must have been frustrating. But in my case, it's hilarious!

Project in mind: Haircut at Beauty saloon

After almost 16 weeks here, i thought it's time to look for a hairdresser and enjoy the luxury of a haircut (in Singapore, I usually get to the salon every 6 weeks!). My tai-tai friends here pay about S$300/- for just a cut. I don't feel I'm in the same league. So when i befriended this Arab speaking lady, Aida, I ventured to get my goal accomplished before christmas through her contact. ("Wasta" or connection is very important here!)

We have been laughing our way through our chicken-and-duck friendship.
We make gestures with our hands, act out our explanations, show pictures, use the very limited edition of my English-Arabic booklet.........hug each other, give each other the Arabic kiss (you know ---- hug left, hug right and make the kissing sound in the air!!!) and we have found a friendship that goes beyond the boundaries of language, culture and religion.

All good .......even though I thought she had young kids when she talked about her "babies". In fact, they're in their teens!
I thought the elderly man in her apartment was her "dad", and discovered he's just a friend.
And i thought she was taking me to the hairdresser yesterday at 5 pm.....or today at 4 pm.......But it seems it's going to be tomorrow!!!

Ah so........"Inshallah"......God willing!

So many friends have asked me about coming over to Qatar.

I'm not sure if they're actually interested to visit me ( which means they care for me and wonder if all is well with me in this foreign land?....ahhh... my big ego!!!) or are they the typical tourist who's just wanting to "shop till you drop" and "eat till you're sick" and take photos to brag about their holiday?

Honestly, I'm not keen on either type of guest.

Firstly, I'm not looking for comfort or consolation ---- I'm excited about carving out a new life here and, at this point, I don't think many people understand my thoughts and dreams for my stay here.


Also, Qatar is not a touristy place.

Their zoo, singing sand dunes, beaches, etc are well advertised in handbooks. But when you get lost, people never tell you which road will lead you to your destination ---- they tell you how to get there by the number of roundabouts and landmarks!

Anyway, I have yet to see a tourist coach.

Moreover, souvenirs which reflect the Middle Eastern flavor ---- the Aladdin lamp, the treasure chest, the colourful fabrics and jewellery, etc ---- are made in Turkey, India, Thailand, China....everywhere else except Qatar! And if you are no sheikh, why would you want to buy Escada, Moschino, MaxMara here if branded goods are cheaper back home?

So having said that..... Qatar is a place to eat different foods and produce from Lebanon, Jordan, Kuwait, India......At the supermarket, they hang the Australian lamb, the New Zealand lamb and the thinner Syrian lamb. Have a pick!

Qatar is a place to experience fast and impatient drivers, 4-wheel drivers who go on to the pedestrian kerbs to avoid traffic jams. And yet it's a safe place to walk alone at night.There are no beggars ---- just poorly paid foreigners who work hard to make a living.

It's where the locals are friendly enough yet even when you are first in the queue, remember they are the 'king of the land'. Move over!

BUT if you want to eat saccharine sweet Arabic sweets and experience a natural facial sand exfoliant when there's a storm in the desert, if you want to see life behind the veil (hey....I think it was a man in the black abbaya in the carpark recently!), if you want to know how it feels to be treated unequally, if you want to open your eyes to this part of the world AND if you are not going to compare and complain about things, then YOU ARE WELCOME!!!

It's a strange thought --- August 2007 marks the beginning of the Year of Independence for me from my kids.

I know : we often think of kids growing up and it has always been them wanting to be independent from us parents ---- right from the age of the 'terrible two' through the 'rebellious adolescent' to them choosing to go flatting with friends instead of living under one roof with their parents and siblings.

Like most mums, I often wondered if my primary purpose in life is to provide services similar to the hotel with a 24-hour cafetaria and chauffeur thrown in.
So when my youngest started his freshman year in the States in August......and the two older ones were left to handle a new job and a new business plus the groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, car maintenance, paying of bills......while my husband and I packed up to go to the Middle East for a couple of years ----- I felt kind of guilty.

Was I irresponsible as a mum?
Should I fly to and fro every couple of months to check on things??
Was I losing my purpose in life???

Well, I have to admit --- I didn't lose too much time nor energy mulling over my guilt.

After 5 weeks of independence from my kids, I realise that this is a wonderful time to test my parenting!

My youngest recently spent US$300/- for motorbike lessons. He passed with flying colours, extremely satisfied to have done this manly thing, while unashamedly admitting it's very dangerous and probably will never ride a motorbike in Singapore.
--- ah....my wise son!

My daughter decided to buy more clothes because she was not able to keep up with the washing and ironing.
--- well, that's one way to get around the situation!

My eldest has been cooking his own low carbo, high protein meals and proudly proclaims he's leaner than when I was the cook.
--- so what can I say eh?

I know these kids will not only survive without me ---- they will learn even more about cost, consequences and challenges in life that they may not when they have me around!