Thursday, December 07, 2006

Graduation

I flew miles and kilometers from home to be with my daughter for her graduation.

Yes....as parents, we always make it a point to be there for our kids --- not only for their kindergarten concert, their primary school sports, their secondary school basketball tournaments, their college speech day, their university graduation ceremony.....but also when their results fall short of the glory that's supposed to be, or when they have growing pains or when they need a hand, a heart, an ear or just some new idea for life!

Yet....as I reflect on this graduation day....it seems a little strange. There are no balloons falling from the sky, no champagne flowing, no wrapped gifts given to celebrate this moment. Only one bouquet of flowers that stands unceremoniously in a coffee cup by the side of the kitchen sink amongst the fruits, veges and dried dishes!



My daughter is not concerned.
I apologise for not being a celebrative family, but she's ok with it.
She sincerely thinks that external things like congratulatory messages, celebrative parties, words of praise and affirmation are nice but...


She does not tag on her worth and value on these externals.
She does not rely on them to assure her and give her confidence.
She knows within herself her answer to: Who am I?
And she does not need others to tell her who she is!

(But if others want to celebrate, she'll be happy to go along too!)

As for me, we will go out for dinner ---- not merely to have a nice family photo for the album, but to celebrate her growth and maturity as a young woman.

She faced life's physical, emotional and spiritual challenges with zest and stoic grace!
Bought a DIY bicycle then upgraded to a 1990 car, played a broken guitar for group activities, experimented with cooking and baking and making jams, got a scuba-diving certificate while supposedly working hard in the hospital, made friends and attracted the friendless!

4 years of independence.......

Will she be able to survive life in her parents' presence after this??? Hmmm.....

link | posted by Coach Jonathan Wong at 5:47 PM |

2 Comments:

 Val commented at 3:44 PM~  

Hey! This is a wonderful blog! I enjoy reading so much.. Very encouraging! Just a question.. I've been living overseas for a few years now, like your daughter. Now that I'm heading home, it seems that my parents are planning what I'm supposed to do, what I've got to do on specific dates! Just like how they did before I left. I'm a little upset about it. How do you handle your daughter when she returns? Still as before??

 magnificentmom commented at 2:55 AM~  

Hi Val!I guess parents will always be parents ---- my husband is in his 50s and his mum who lives with us,will not sleep until he comes home at night (sometimes past midnite!).However, since our daughter has been completely independent in managing every aspect of her life (physical, emotional, financial,spiritual etc) while overseas, without any interference from us, and she has proven herself capable and responsible, we continue to trust her. All we ask is that she will understand our input into her life now merely stems from our love and concern for her, not from our desire to control her life. I hope your parents will also release you as you gain their trust and confidence in how you live your life!

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